Last time we chatted, we focused on us. The Mama's. We chatted about the importance of *us* having the character qualities we want to teach our children. Am I saying you should have these qualities mastered before starting to teach your children? NO!! If that was true, I wouldn't be teaching my kids. And my oldest is turning 15 next week. What a sad state my house would be in. Don't really even want to picture that....*shudder*. Scary!
No. What I am saying is in order for you to effectively teach your children, you must be working to possess these qualities as well. While you're teaching your children. You can't expect to just teach them while you continue being impatient or angry or worrying over everything. It doesn't work like that.
So how do you start to teach your kids character traits, while you're working on them too? I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't be afraid to tell them you're struggling in an area, to ask them to pray for you, or to help remind you in a gentle way when you start to worry instead of turning to Christ. They can be teachers too! It's good for them to know that you're working hard too. Just like they are.
One thing I do is to keep it very, very simple, I don't use long definitions when explaining what a character quality is. Just like when your two year old asks you how grass grows you wouldn't launch into a magnificent science lesson, you'd probably just simply say that GOD makes it grow. Or give them a short lesson on seeds in general. It's the same with character.
Some examples would be that being patient is waiting nicely. Being joyful is being happy in Jesus. And diligence is working hard. As they get older I add to to that. But for littles, or even if you're just beginning character training, there isn't anything wrong with keeping it very simple.
Another thing is to use character words and their definitions when there is a problem. If they are being impatient, instead of just getting on to them respond with "No, don't act like that. You need to be patient. You need to wait nicely." It's an easy way to reenforce it. Usually multiple times a day. Or an hour. Depending on how the day is going. 😄
Depending on how your child works it may be beneficial to sit down and have a list of qualities, their definitions, and verses to go along with them, that you go over together as a family. They might thrive under that with a major family goal in front of them. Or maybe it's best to just talk about character qualities as they come up, in daily conversations, or when a fight breaks out, or when someone is displaying a bad character trait. Discipleship can look many ways. Find what works for your teaching style, what's best for your kids, and then act on it.
From experience, it can be easy to focus only on your kids character - good or bad - and lose sight of your own struggles. Don't forget to work hard, practice, and display these godly character traits you want your children to posses.
And one last really important thing - include your husband. Talk to him about your goals in this area. Get his approval for your action plan. Ask him for his help. Maybe he can center Family Worship around some of the character qualities the family is struggling the most with, or focus on just one character quality a week, or encourage the kids when he's tucking them at night. Every family is different and each family will do it different.
I think it's easy to "forget" our husbands sometimes. Especially if you stay at home with the kids all the time. You notice things.....I don't want to say more, but in a sense you'll notice them more. Because you experience the bad behavior more. If he works outside the home, he doesn't see everything or get the full experience so to speak. This happened to us recently. I've always had an emphasis on character training, but in the last couple of years it's been a lot more intentional. I can't even remember what happened, but in the course of a conversation he learned how much I was focusing on character. He highly approved, but he wasn't aware. Because I just didn't think to tell him. So be sure to include him. And that could look like a weekly parent/teacher conference, or you schedule a meeting every other month to review your home/school/kids....whatever it looks like for you personally. And it could be an informal conversation that happens almost everyday where you share things about your day while catching up after he gets home from work. So many ways! 😊
Next time, I'll share some very practical ways I've used, and am using, to teach my kids.
No. What I am saying is in order for you to effectively teach your children, you must be working to possess these qualities as well. While you're teaching your children. You can't expect to just teach them while you continue being impatient or angry or worrying over everything. It doesn't work like that.
So how do you start to teach your kids character traits, while you're working on them too? I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't be afraid to tell them you're struggling in an area, to ask them to pray for you, or to help remind you in a gentle way when you start to worry instead of turning to Christ. They can be teachers too! It's good for them to know that you're working hard too. Just like they are.
One thing I do is to keep it very, very simple, I don't use long definitions when explaining what a character quality is. Just like when your two year old asks you how grass grows you wouldn't launch into a magnificent science lesson, you'd probably just simply say that GOD makes it grow. Or give them a short lesson on seeds in general. It's the same with character.
Some examples would be that being patient is waiting nicely. Being joyful is being happy in Jesus. And diligence is working hard. As they get older I add to to that. But for littles, or even if you're just beginning character training, there isn't anything wrong with keeping it very simple.
Another thing is to use character words and their definitions when there is a problem. If they are being impatient, instead of just getting on to them respond with "No, don't act like that. You need to be patient. You need to wait nicely." It's an easy way to reenforce it. Usually multiple times a day. Or an hour. Depending on how the day is going. 😄
Depending on how your child works it may be beneficial to sit down and have a list of qualities, their definitions, and verses to go along with them, that you go over together as a family. They might thrive under that with a major family goal in front of them. Or maybe it's best to just talk about character qualities as they come up, in daily conversations, or when a fight breaks out, or when someone is displaying a bad character trait. Discipleship can look many ways. Find what works for your teaching style, what's best for your kids, and then act on it.
From experience, it can be easy to focus only on your kids character - good or bad - and lose sight of your own struggles. Don't forget to work hard, practice, and display these godly character traits you want your children to posses.
And one last really important thing - include your husband. Talk to him about your goals in this area. Get his approval for your action plan. Ask him for his help. Maybe he can center Family Worship around some of the character qualities the family is struggling the most with, or focus on just one character quality a week, or encourage the kids when he's tucking them at night. Every family is different and each family will do it different.
I think it's easy to "forget" our husbands sometimes. Especially if you stay at home with the kids all the time. You notice things.....I don't want to say more, but in a sense you'll notice them more. Because you experience the bad behavior more. If he works outside the home, he doesn't see everything or get the full experience so to speak. This happened to us recently. I've always had an emphasis on character training, but in the last couple of years it's been a lot more intentional. I can't even remember what happened, but in the course of a conversation he learned how much I was focusing on character. He highly approved, but he wasn't aware. Because I just didn't think to tell him. So be sure to include him. And that could look like a weekly parent/teacher conference, or you schedule a meeting every other month to review your home/school/kids....whatever it looks like for you personally. And it could be an informal conversation that happens almost everyday where you share things about your day while catching up after he gets home from work. So many ways! 😊
Next time, I'll share some very practical ways I've used, and am using, to teach my kids.
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