I honestly have no idea how long this has been going on for. Weeks at least. This morning a lightbulb went off though.
I was getting seriously annoyed with my kids over several things. One being that I was hearing "do I have to eat this?" and "is there anything else for breakfast?" from several different kids. I'm standing in the kitchen feeling annoyed and thinking "*why* are they doing this?? They aren't allowed to!" And then it hit me. I've been training them for this. Not intentionally. But with my letting them ask me, letting them whine, and have attitudes, I was very much training them for this very behavior. I was saying "I approve!" AND I DON'T!! But all I was doing was getting frustrated and not correcting or punishing this behavior.
Not only was I training them for this, but I was sinning over and over again in the process. Anger, frustration, feeling annoyed....its all sin.
So this morning, after my lightbulb moment, I came to a few conclusions. Very obvious ones, but I still had to actively decide these things. First I chose to change my attitude about this. Then I came up with a game plan. And then I acted on it. I apologized and explained that this behavior is basically my fault. Sure, they could have chosen to do the right thing, but they are kids. They aren't always going to think about it that way. I'm leading and guiding them with my actions every day. And lately I've been leading them the wrong way.
Kinda crazy it took me so long to see this, right?! I agree. But sometimes this happens mama. We get busy with life, we're coming back from dealing with morning sickness and trying to get everything back on track (my case) or there are major things going on in your life. And sometimes we simply have blinders on. The important thing is to act when we realize it, make things right, and start leading your children in the right way. Christ's way.
It's only noon and I'm so tired. I've really stayed on top of discipleship and discipline, even during school hours. Just before I called the kids to the table, I had them all stand in front of me and reminded them of the rules - no complaining, no asking for anything that wasn't given to you (unless I specifically assigned someone to remember that something was for lunch and I forgot), no whining. If you do complain or whine, I'll likely just take your food away and will give it back once everyone is done eating. By then it will be cold, but that's part of the punishment.
So far so good!
This isn't the first time this has happened, that I've not fully seen an issues or a character flaw until I was about to go bonkers. You'd think I'd learn by now. But I'm human, I'm a tired mama, a busy mama, trying to keep up with 8 hoodlums, life happens.........so this is going to happen in the future. I try to be watchful, my husband points out issues when he sees them (which is soooo helpful to have that extra pair of eyes!)....but this will still happen.
Lunch today has been very peaceful. They all know the boundaries and the consequences if they cross that boundary. There was more joy at the table. I'm feeling much calmer about life in general just working on this one area hardcore.
I Corinthians 10:31 popped into my head this morning. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Hard to glorify God when you're complaining. 😕
It's so easy to grow weary, to just complain and lash out. What I've been doing. It's much harder to see our own sin, to confront that sin in our own life and in our kids lives (because let's face it. It can be exhausting). BUT! The joy, the benefits, the peace, the blessings that come from taking the time to properly tend to our seedlings.....totally worth it mama.
Don't grow weary. 💕
Comments
Post a Comment