I really dislike the term “self-care”. I mean, I don’t disagree with the idea behind it, but it seems to now be this “thing” for moms to hold tightly to. To become angry over when they don’t get enough self care. To get depressed when they don’t get time for a luxurious bubble bath (or whatever you love to do). To eventually get bitter because they never have enough time for all those fun things they want to do - a night out with friends, exotic vacations, a spa day....or any number of other things. I’m honestly having a hard time coming up with things. I don’t do much apparently. haha!
I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mama of 8, going on 9, kids. I married my best friend at age 19 and we’ve been happily married for almost 18 years. And we’re still best friends!! I run and manage our home. My husband is a pastor so there are times when he’s not around as much for all sorts of reasons or there is more going on at church that I’m involved in. My husband is currently enrolled in school getting his ThM, so that sometimes takes up more of his time. On Sunday’s he is busy working so I’m on my own with the kids a large portion of the day.
I don’t say all that to complain or to say that I’m left on my own too much or that I have too much on my plate. I say all that to give some perspective on my life when I say that I get plenty of “self-care”.
We are told in I Corinthians 6 that we are temple of the Holy Spirit and to take care of our bodies - spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Are there times I wish I had more “me time”? Yes. Are there times I feel drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Oh my yes. Are there times I just want to be left alone? Hahaha Yupp.
So sometimes it’s a struggle or I have to work harder at “self-care”, but that’s just part of life.
So what does my “self-care” look like?
-Spending Time With Christ
My goal is to have my personal devotions first thing in the morning. Some mornings I’m in my pj’s and other days I’m fully ready for the day. Some days I get 30 minutes of mostly uninterrupted time and other days (like this morning) I have people asking questions every few verses. But that’s just life.
-Down Time During The Day
Every afternoon, from 1-3pm, we have a daily enforced Quiet Time. The babies nap and everyone else spreads out watching a movie, reading, working on a project....but it’s time to be quiet, rest, and let mama have some down time. I often eat my lunch during this time, these days I usually take a nap, I’ll watch a movie, fold laundry, or do some sort of paperwork. It’s different everyday.
-Time With My Husband and Going To Bed At A Good Time For Me
After the kids go to bed, my husband and I often chat away. Some nights we each turn a movie on and just chill. Some nights we do both. My bedtime has been creeping up as this pregnancy has gone on, so I’m typically heading for bed by 9:30.
-Physical Self-Care
Things I do for myself physically would be: getting dressed every day, drinking enough water, taking supplements, and some sort of exercise (this has been really sad lately, but I have a plan to change this 😊).
These next few might not seem like it would fall into the “self-care” category, but for me it is.
-To-Do Lists
Making a to-do list for the day or creating a routine that I follow each day (I do both) is such a helpful thing!!! Frees up brain space to have a routine written down and I just do it everyday. Usually I’ll make a to-do list in the evening that is for the following day. Sometimes I put this in a specific order and other times it’s just a messy list of jobs I don’t want to forget.
-Having Systems In Place
Years ago, when I was pregnant with #3, I read the book Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman. I began to implement her ideas and then over the years I’ve tweaked them to fit our family’s needs better. Now, during sickness, when I’m stuck in bed during a pregnancy or when I’m on bedrest after birth for two weeks, we don’t fall behind too badly. When we only had littles we fell behind very easily, but I was confident we would catch right back up. And we did. Now that I’ve got some older ones, they can pretty much run the house when I’m down. I’m so thankful for the effort I put in to get those systems in place!!
There are many other ways you can do self-care and it will be unique to you and your situation. Be careful not to fall into the woe-is-me trap when your plan falls through or your whole family comes down sick and you’re left to care for everyone with no down time. Prioritize your relationship with your Heavenly Father and with your husband. Those two things will go *such* a long way in your self care!!!
When life seems to come at you with no break, be sure to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Mine is always willing to help troubleshoot and get me extra help or figure out a way to get some some alone time so I can regroup. Sometimes this looks like him making me go into our bedroom, he brings me food and locks the door on his way out. Sometimes it’s him taking the kids for a 10 minute walk. But those little things can help so much.
Don’t grow weary of doing good for your family. 💕
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