Time for another character training topic for mamas. 😊
Punctuality.
Something I hear a lot is that large families are always late. I gotta say, this drives me a little nuts.
Imagine not having a plan of action to leave. You know you have to be somewhere, but haven't really planned out what needs to happen when. Then all of a sudden you realize you have to have your crew out the door in 30 minutes. GAH! You start calling out orders, people start running around like chickens with their heads cut off (gross illustration I know, but my daddy always used it haha), at least one shoe is missing, and as you watch time march on, more rapidly than normal it seems, your voice gets louder, you start getting frustrated because "why can't the 3yo just go look for the shoe by themselves?!" Or "why isn't the 7yo seeing the need to jump in and help find the shoe??" Sheesh. Then here comes the anger. You finally jump in to find the shoe with your hair half done and you find it in the living room under the pile of cars the 6yo dumped out. "Seriously?!?! Now is NOT the time to be getting toys out people! Can't you see we're trying to leave?!"
Its now five minutes past the time you should have left the house and you're still gathering items and no one is even buckled in. As you finally exit the house, you glance behind you and all you see is lights on, toys all over the living room, clothing all over the place and you're not even sure why, the dishes that you wanted to get loaded into the dishwasher.....then your eyes land on the fridge for a split second and you remember you never started dinner. "Great. Now dinner is going to be very late...actually I can't make it at all because it won't be done until 8:30pm. NOW what are we going to eat??" That just makes your mood all that much better. (sarcasm)
Sadly, this is either exactly what has happened to me or very close to it. A small part was the kids not doing what they were supposed to be doing, but a bigger part was lack of character and planning on my part. I didn't like who I was becoming when it was time to get ready to go places.
Once I began to implement my planning practices and truly working on my character during times of getting ready, things began to change.
But it had to start with me.
Do things go smoothly all the time while we're getting ready? No. Do I always lead a good example? Sadly, nope. But I have changed. We work hard to be on time, but usually aim to be early.
Personally I think being on time is a simple courtesy to others. It shows that you value that persons time, that you respect the time they put into planning the event, and them as a person
So how does punctuality turn into a character training session for mamas? Trying to get a large group out the door can end up being very irritating. Or worse, cause you to get angry. ✋Been there. 😔 Way more than I'd care to admit.
Can you be punctual and not lose your cool? YES!! I've been there too! And I'm very happy to say I'm there more than I'm in the "getting angry camp." Progress for this mama!
Does it take more work and more time to get somewhere on time? Ooohhh yessss!!! But no worries! I’ll give you some of my tips and tricks for getting a larger family out the door and arriving on time. Or even better, early. 😊
Implementing these tips and tricks will help you to continue teaching your children character by your example. Feel free to share your own tips and tricks and to tweak mine to suit your own needs.
-Spend some time planning
Some trips out require more planning than others. But I give all trips out attention. I usually begin planning for it the day before, if possible. It may only be two minutes of thought or it may be my sitting down and making a list. Sometimes we'll plan an unexpected outing and that would often only get a few moments thought to planning. But I still plan.
A day trip requires more prep work than a grocery shopping trip. And even less is required of a quick trip to the library. If I’m able to do any prep work the day before, I do it. For a day trip this would be packing extra clothes, planning food for the day while we're out or for when we get home. For any bigger planned outings that will happen the next morning, I lay out clothes and shoes the evening before, pack the diaper bag, and get my grocery list together.
-Do some math
Yupp. You heard me. Math time. Hehehe
What time do you need or want to be there? How long does it take to get there? How long does it take to load everyone?
We always leave at 9am on Sunday mornings to head for church. Sunday school doesn’t start until 9:45 but it takes 25 minutes to get there and my husband is the pastor, so arriving at least 15 minutes early is a must. We start loading kids between 8:50-8:55. The time between loading and leaving is my built in extra time in case anything should happen - we forget something and it takes a few minutes to find/get it done, a child missed the final “go to the bathroom” call and they can’t wait, a blowout diaper, the baby spits up all over themselves and you….just the normal stuff. The kids will have sat in the nice cool van anywhere from 2 minutes to 10 minutes. We always aim to just load and leave, but every now and then…..yeah it just doesn’t happen.
You also should figure up how long it takes to get everyone ready and if you need to be up at a certain time in order to make that happen. For Sunday’s I’m usually up by 7-7:15. Breakfast was made the night before so kids just dish it up and eat as they get up. Clothes and shoes were laid out the day before, so they have to grab them and put them on. No running around to find anything.
So! Our math problem would look like this……What time do you need to be there - how long it takes to get there - how long does it take to get ready - a little built in extra time = what time you need to get up or start getting ready. This is called Mama Math. 😁
-Figure out a system for leaving that works for you
This will look different for everyone. How old your kids are, how many kids, the length of the trip....so many factors play into this. But developing a system for getting out the door is really helpful. Once you have it down pat, the time you need to get out the door will lessen. It used to take me more time to leave the house Sunday mornings with only a few kids. Now we have 9 and we can be out the door, everyone ready, and the house tidy in under two hours. Part of it is having some older kids now, but it's also having my system down really well.
I usually get myself almost completely ready to leave first and then get kids ready. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, so I’ll wait to get ready until after the kids are all ready. Sunday mornings usually see me in my pj's up until 10 minutes before we leave. While the kids are loading up, I'll get dressed and ready. I'm not a high maintenance/wear a lot of makeup person, so this works for me. If dad isn't home and it's only me taking them somewhere, I'll get all the kids ready, then have them sit with books or toys, waiting nicely for me. This just helps people to stay tidy, no big messes happen, and keeps things calm so I can get ready quickly.
Typically I will start getting the youngest ready first, send them off to play and work my way up the Little’s line. The older kids get ready all on their own and the middles I give instructions to and then they head off to obey.
-Leaving the house in good order
This isn't a must in order to be punctual, but this is something I always strive to do. And it's very helpful to me. It's oh so lovely to come home from any length of an outing to a tidy home.
Often, just before I send a kid out to load up, I have them pick up ten items and turn off two lights. When you have 7-8 kids doing this, the house gets clean really fast! Sometimes I'll ask an older one to quickly rinse dishes and load them in the dishwasher. Or to start a load of laundry. If we just finished a meal, I'll assign 1-3 kids to do a quick clean up of that if we didn't have time to do table chores. Anything that will help get the house tidy.
-Pray
We often think of this as being the last resort or a small thing to do. But it should be first on our list. I realize it's last in this post, but I left the best for last. 😊
Pray for spiritual growth. Pray for a peaceful spirit. Pray for ideas on ways to prepare for outings that best suits your families needs. Pray for a willing spirit to submit to GOD, for a flexible heart and mind so that you can go with the flow with whatever pops up while you're getting ready for an outing.
If you struggle with being on time or if you're really good at being on time, but struggle with your attitude or temper while preparing to leave, take some time to plan. Write down a very detailed list or just simply think it through. Do your math. And pray! Strive to have a good reputation!
Even in something as mundane or simple as getting out the door on time, don't grow weary mama. 💕
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