November 16, 2004. I was woken from a *really* good sleep by a contraction at 7am. I laid there breathing through it while my husband slept away next to me. Once it ended, I moved to the living room where I proceeded to sit on the couch and sob.
"I don't want to do this!!! I'm too scared. I just don't want to!........You don't have a choice, stupid. Your baby is inside you, she has to come out, so lets get on with it."
And with that pep talk I faced the next contraction and was ready to tackle the day. 😄
My husband came out not too long after the second contraction and while I was still fearful and not really wanting to do through with this whole labor thing.....I was ready.
We'd been married about 14 months when the LORD blessed us with our first baby. Our two year anniversary was quickly approaching in December. I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my husband the youngest of 2 kids. Practically, I was ready for a baby since I'd had experience being around babies, but honestly nothing truly prepares you for motherhood or birth. My husband was way less ready than I was.
He was ready to leave right that second for the hospital! I wanted to stay home for as long as possible. The first order of business was to call my Momma. My husband had just gotten his paycheck the day before and it needed to get in the bank asap. Once my Momma came over, he left to deposit his check (this was WAAAYYY back when the only way to put money in your account was in person 😂).
I stayed focused on breathing through contractions while my Momma coached me through them. She headed back home one my husband got back. He was chomping at the bit to do something, but since I still didn't want to go to the hospital, I offered a compromise - that we head to my moms which was 10 minutes closer to the hospital. He jumped at it and off we went.
Back labor was setting in so my mom was helping rub my back, continuing to coach me, all while taking care of her own kids. I knew the hospital wasn't going to let me eat (craziness haha) so I had a ham and cheese sandwich (which tasted SOOOOOO good!) at noon and then we started heading to the hospital.
Once we got all checked in and into a room, we tried to settle in for the day as I worked and waited for our baby to arrive. We chose to use some mild medication to help with pain. All it really did was make me feel loopy and not in control. I hated it. Yet when that dose wore off I asked for another. In the moment I didn't fully realize it wasn't really helping any. *sigh*
Around 7pm they offered to break my water and since my mom said she always had to have her water broken, I went with it. I had no idea that I could have a baby *without* my water breaking. So we went with it.
Around 9pm, I was told when I start feeling pushy to say something. I'd been feeling that way for at least one contraction, so I said I was feeling pushy. The nurse looked surprised, didn't seem to believe me and told me since this was my first it would still be a while. The next contraction just a minute or so later I couldn't help but push. She took a peek, in a surprised and frantic voice told me not to push anymore. I remember thinking "excuse me?? Yeah. That's not happening." and pushed again with the next contraction because I couldn't *not* push by this point. My body was doing it no matter what.
The nurse is frantically on the phone, the doc rushes in throwing on his jacket and gloves and knocking things on the floor. If I hadn't been in pain and so focused, I would have been laughing hysterically. I still have that image in my head almost 18 years later.
Finally, at 9:07 I got to hold my sweet little girl. Well. It was actually a few minutes later because I was feeling quite shaky and loopy (from the meds) and was so sure I was going to drop her because she was all wet. HA! Of course, in the hospital they clean them up right away and do all the measurements and such. By the time they were done, I was more than ready to hold her.
Because of how they "force" you to give birth, I tore so I had to endure being stitched up. Not pleasant.
I was *terrified* that they would do something to my baby that we didn't want done, that she would get switched with another baby, or get lost, so I had no intention of letting her leave me. Buuttt to bathe her, they did it in another room. I begged my husband to go with her and he was oh so torn. He knew how I felt and we had agreed to not let her leave us, but then this came up and he wanted to stay with me, but also wanted to be with his baby and keep her safe....when I begged him to go, he went. And then came back without her!!!!! I about lost it in fear. He just wanted me to know they bathed her, followed our wishes, and were almost done. I begged him to go back with her so he did.
She came back just fine. In case you wondered. 😊
This little girl of ours will be 18 in just a few months, is having her first book released in a couple of weeks, with the second being released the following month. She is a strong, godly, beautiful young woman. Not only is she an amazing author, but she can run and manage our home on her own, including keeping all the little humans alive. She can't drive or catch a ball or do any sort of athletics 😁, but she is strong in the LORD, works very hard to become more and more like her Heavenly Father, loves to disciple young girls, and adores her family. She is willing to give up her life to care for her family when needed (this happened for three months last year when I was put on strict bedrest during #9's pregnancy), has a strong work ethic, and is deeply devoted to her Savior.
I am so blessed to have been given this young woman to raise for Christ's Kingdom. 💕
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